Thursday, 12 October 2017

My happy place

I'm freezing. It's not quite cold enough to see my breath, but my hands are so cold and stiff that working is just about out of the picture this morning. It's after 9 am and the frost is still covering the grass. It's nearing my hibernation time. I have a heater at my feet and a blanket over my lap creating a nice little heat tunnel. Now if I could just figure out how to keep my mouse hand warm.

This ... I need this. It's electric. It's heat. I NEED this blanket in my life. Maybe two of them.

Garf used some actual words last night to say again what he said in his text. I'm paraphrasing here, but I think what he said was something like, "I think I'm ready to do it right this time" Cautiously optimistic.

My oldest little girl is turning 16 this weekend. I wish we could do something special for her. As luck would have it, (our luck that is) the van is needing repairs which are being done today. It's hard to believe that in less than a year she'll be gone. A good friend of ours who lives in a real city and not in the middle of nowhere said the girl could go stay with her whenever she's ready. I think she'd like to go now, but I'm not quite willing to let her go so young. I know she's itching to go somewhere where there is life. This last year has been especially hard for her.

Oh, I almost forgot. We came *this* close to being dead last night. Damn moose. If he had decided to bolt across the road he would have destroyed our van and most likely Garf and I with it. When Garf swerved, if my window had been open I possibly would have had a face full of antler. Wasn't too far up the road from us either. It's strange that we never see any moose passing through the yard. We've seen signs of them, but never the actual animal.


  1. I like you are optimistic even if its cautiously! Wow! Thank goodness the moose didn't run into you! Kids growing up is so hard. I do not enjoy that part of being a mommy. It's hard.

    1. Well Baker, no matter how hard I try to stamp it out I always seem to be left with a tiny flicker of hope. It's hard for me to remember that I have years of reading blogs but that it's still relatively new to Garf.
      Very lucky indeed. Garf grew up in Newfoundland, they have a higher moose population that here in New Brunswick, so he's used to them popping out of nowhere, but that was the closest we've ever come to hitting one. (In NL, we used to go driving in the early evening to count moose ... one night we saw 50 in about an hour)
      It is hard watching them grow up, so quickly it seems too! But still, after 21 years, I AM looking forward to having a little bit of my life back.

  2. Fortunately in this part of Ontario, the moose seem to stick to walking down the main streets! LOL. Thank goodness indeed for Garf's lightening fast reflexes. Sidenote when I was in NFLD I didn't see a single moose! lol

    As for the little bird flying the nest, I had this happen this past summer. GOD it was awful. Every time I went into his room, or saw something of his it was like a knife to my heart. I'm used to it now, except for when he comes home to visit. I find I go off the rails. Oh that and I still haven't quite gotten used to not cooking/buying as much food!

    Now....on to Garf, keep the faith alive. Don't have any preconceived notions;let him do HIS thing. After all you do want him to lead. I know often Barney has led in ways I didn't think served a purpose or not how I had envisioned it. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't. The important part is they try. I find it helps to submit, regardless of how we feel (within reason) and wait to see.

    1. First time we lived in NL I think I might have seen 3 spread out over about 1.5 years. I guess it depends on when you hope to see them. Come hunting season they seems to know to disappear. Partly why we were surprised to see on last night. I figure he's going to end up in someone's freezer shortly.
      This will be the 3rd little bird on it's way. With our oldest, we barely even noticed. He moved out gradually over the space of a year. One day, he just didn't live at home anymore. He only lives a couple hours away so we still get to see him pretty often. 2nd one out moved all the way to Ontario (which is where #3 will be headed as well) and that was really hard. I understand the itch to get out of here though. NB is for retired or dying folks, not young kids with a whole life ahead of them.
      As for Garf ... I'm waiting and I promise I'll try to be quiet and just see where he goes. I'll even try to follow along behind :)

  3. Whoah! I've never seen a real moose. Post a pic and tell that girl of yours "Happy Birthday!". If she wants to visit the states, she's got a place to stay. :)