Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Actions, not words

Ready for rules, we'll talk this weekend.

That's the message I got this morning. I don't even have a feeling to attach to this. Once it would have made my stomach fill with butterflies. I would have been happy, excited maybe. I have no feeling about it. His words have finally become *just* words. If I had to feel anything right now, it would be pissed. Pissed that he waits until I'm in the worst possible place before he brings this up. Again, making me feel like I'm being pacified. I need action, not words.
Well, however it is that I feel about this, I'm at least going to try and keep my mouth shut before anything spills over.

This feels like a long day. Not enough work to occupy me today.


4 comments:

  1. Ttwd can be very, very bumpy for a long time in the beginning before a husband feels comfortable in becoming a leader. I have very close friends who are the reverse of us, he brought ttwd to her, (though not complete reverse as he is in control). We often speak of our differences between us and our spouses. The thing is, he and I both came to the realization of our needs in a more organic form if you will. We did it under the cloak of darkness, figuring out many things in silence. His wife, my husband, they were dragged out of the closet, (though both had the tendencies..LOL) and have been in the microscopic spotlight ever since. Sure being in my position I could say he had it 'easier' because it appears he can demand what he wants and rules the show..while I had/have to patiently wait for my husband to take the lead, but first he had to become comfortable with it.

    It isn't an easy process, waiting. I know no one who has been in this position who didn't feel personally hurt by inaction, or delayed reaction. On the other side however, Barney will tell you he always thought about action, but was too afraid to take it- what if he made things worse etc. It wasn't because he was blind, he was afraid.

    So long story short, yes you should keep your mouth shut about how you feel (and normally that would NOT be my response). Let him breathe some oxygen into the coals he is trying to reignite . Sometimes one has to bite their tongue for the betterment of the relationship...

    willie

    PS. I wrote a post that MIGHT make you feel a bit better? Not sure. At the very least it will take up some time...LOL

    http://williewhines.blogspot.ca/2017/10/i-was-once-like-you.html

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE things that take up time and I love reading, so ... win/win.
      I know you're right, all of my own voices are agreeing with you. What I once would have looked forward to, I'm dreading. I fear I may have retreated too far from him to even attempt one more try at this. I have a couple days to talk myself down. I can do this. I think.

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  2. It has always been my experience that one is NEVER too far gone. ALTHOUGH it isn't easy to believe or have faith sometimes, I think fear robs us of a great deal. I will also let you in on a little secret, the 'butterflies' stuff doesn't stick around indefinitely anyway- and it isn't a bad thing. It just means things are getting real...but that is for another time...and definitely another place. I'll leave you with this, the wish that you are better at keeping your mouth shut once he starts talking than I have been in the past! LOL

    willie

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find the super glue. I know we have some around here somewhere. I hope you have a track record of wishes coming true. I'll need all the help I can get. lol

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