Friday, 17 August 2018

Punctuation is important!

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I've been putting in a lot of hours working the last couple weeks. The week that was spent on my mom's funeral really took a bite out of us and the budget. In the weeks since, we've had to replace 3 tires on the van. Because I needed more budget eaters. With Garf changing jobs and switching to nights, it's been a little upside-ish around here.

And yet, even with all the upsets ... Garf has remained steady and consistent. Darn him.

He has learned to use punctuation. He likes to punctuate what he says (the important bits) with that damn bath brush. I'd like to burn that thing.

He is not letting anything slide anymore.

He has not forgotten anything (even the few times things have had to wait due to scheduling conflicts).

He adds new things to the mix when something occurs to him (he's still flying a little blind, but he's really starting to "get" it.) Today's addition was having me answer him when he says something. Just getting up and doing is no longer good enough. Acknowledging the request (read order) is not enough. I have to say something. Apparently I'm really bad at doing that. He'll ask for something, and I'll just pop up to go get it.

I've learned something new as well. As much as I begged for this ... it's much harder in the doing than I thought it would be. I wanted it so I thought it would just be easy to hand it all over. Not so much. But progress is being made on both sides.

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Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Things I've learned

The last few weeks have been very interesting indeed. Apparently you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, and I've learned a few things as well. The main one being what happens when the man about the house suddenly grows a set and tries on his new hat of consistency. Let me tell you, nothing good has come from this!!  And still, there's no one to blame but myself. So, no ... I'm not whining. Not really. I'm a bit confused as to how this all happened, but I'm not whining. Perhaps feeling a little sorry for myself though. lol

What have I learned lately? 

1. Asking the man why he's asking you dumb ass questions is NOT a good idea. Disrespectful he says.

2. Telling the man that you didn't eat because you didn't feel like it is NOT a good idea.

3. Not drinking the water because you don't like water ... again, NOT a good idea.

4. Trying to jump up and get away from a bath brush ... NOT a good idea.

5. When you let him, the man all of a sudden seems to start taking care of you and the little things.

6. When he asks for your thoughts, he's not necessarily asking for instructions.

*sigh*  It seems that someone around here is learning faster than me.

Some sort of good news (though it's not good today, which I'll get to in a minute). We decided, to try once again, to work on that nasty smoking habit. This time ... we've had some minor success as Garf has been VERY consistent when it comes to this. I gotta say ... be careful what you wish/ask for. I asked and I am definitely receiving. He was paying attention this time when I said, "Go big or go home" (That is another thing to NOT say!!) Every. Freakin'. Night. He hasn't skipped a beat. I gotta say, I'm getting tired of it. But it is having the desired effect. I am down to about 4 cigarettes a day now. Coming down from 15 or more a day, this is good progress. And because each one I light up is MY choice, it's actually working. The price of a cigarette goes up with EVERY single one I light. So I'm actually spending a bit more time weighing "How much do I want that smoke" with, "How much is this going to hurt" lol  So it works like this ... (and though it may seem a little extreme, remember, I DID ask for this specifically to be something he really focuses on and helps me with) The 1st is worth a swat on each cheek, the 2nd one, is worth 2 on each, 3rd is 3 each ... if you wanna do the math, go for it. Here's what I know ... 3 is no big deal, 4 I'd really rather be somewhere else, 5 sucks donkey balls, and beyond that, well, I don't know yet. He doesn't just go, "Oh, 4 smokes, that's 8 ... no ... it's more like, "This is the 1st one" (whack, whack) and this is the 2nd one (whack, whack, whack, whack) and so on ... you get the idea. It is having the desired effect. Most days, I think long and hard before lighting anything.

Except for today. *sniffles*  I've really done it today. We went to the beach. So I'm probably gonna get nailed for not drinking the damn water. Because I was too stupid to make sure I took some with me. (And he's mean enough to let me hang myself by not getting it for me, or reminding me) And ... I may have lost count of how many I smoked ... AND, I know that I'm at 5 already. At least. Oh, and he promised me that if I couldn't remember breakfast or water, there would be CAP CREAM as well ...

So ... farewell ... I probably won't be sitting well tomorrow :(

Monday, 6 August 2018

Bumpy Road

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. Still a little rough around the edges, and I don't think I'm making it much easier, but Garf has certainly got a much better handle on this than he had before. I'm a little lot ashamed to admit it, but I am not always putting as much effort into this as I should. I am still expecting this to go away and I find myself fighting it every time I turn around.

Poor Garf :( I am starting to see why, when he's around me, he often has a bewildered look on his face.

At the end of the day, I look back, and yikes! not very impressive on my part. And so I tell myself that tomorrow will be better, I'll try harder ... and then I allow myself to be distracted by anything that comes my way. Ugh.

At least we are still talking, still trying to arrange things in a way that works for us. That in itself is improvement.

I was totally impressed yesterday ... I had said to Garf that I was feeling really overwhelmed with all the stuff needing to be done around here, especially with our little farm. It's pretty busy all the time and with him working 6 days a week, there's just not a lot of time for him to get anything done. The poor guy needs a day off too. So anyway, with me working as much as I can as well, a lot of the work is falling on the shoulders of a 15 year old. And I have been thinking that perhaps it was time to let that dream go because it wasn't fair to just sort of *gift* a farm to a kid that didn't ask for it, but I was incapable of making that decision (because I've wanted it for so long, I'm soooo attached to my little farm). So, I was in my *office* and Garf was relaxing in the bedroom and so I didn't say this to him so much as send a message. Well ... right away he took over that whole business and talked it over with the kid ... I'm not sure that any real decision has been made, but the kid says he doesn't mind. He does everything ... feeding, cleaning, milking, twice a day ... and yesterday he learned how to butcher and skin a rabbit so that he could do it when Garf just doesn't have time and the rabbit population is getting out of hand. (We had 30 rabbits last week and more on the way.) I gotta say, I'm mighty impressed. The point is ... instead of leaving it up to me, instead of saying, "Whatever you want," Garf just took that from me. Yay!

We will get there (wherever *there* is) someday ... even though it's a bit bumpy along the way, I have a glimmer of hope.

 I need to do better though.

Thursday, 2 August 2018

Nope, no free pass

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

Garf's logic is if I don't like the rules, he's doing something right.

I dislike his thinking.

*sigh* There was a very long (it seemed to me) very whiny (on my part) conversation last night.
I probably said, "But that's not fair," a dozen or more times. Eventually, I did sort of win, because it's true, it wasn't fair, and he wasn't listening. But ... now there aren't any loopholes left!! 

He almost has me convinced that it's gonna stick this time.

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May the good Lord save my ass ....

Monday, 30 July 2018

No free pass?

Damn it ... where did this man come from?

On the way to get our coffee yesterday -

"Did you eat breakfast yet?"


"Fine, I'll get you ..." 

Nobody cares that I'm not hungry :(

On the way back from coffee -

"For some reason you seem to think you have a free pass when I'm home ..."

(He usually works 12 hr shifts, 7 days a week though not so much of that this season yet, but he's right ... I tend to ignore everything when he has unexpected days at home because, well, he's home!!)

Anyway ... I just continued to stuff my mouth with the sausage on a biscuit. There wasn't anything to say. He was right. He's getting awfully good all of a sudden at noticing, and having plenty to say about things ... so odd.

Apparently eating is a hard thing. lol He got me again on that this morning. *sigh* He replaced the bath brush with "Go eat now," so I took that and ran with it. I'm no idiot.

Saturday, 28 July 2018

Is it real?

*Gently pokes around the edges and wonders if it will explode*

I'm not sure what to do with myself. Garf hasn't backed off yet. Lines of communication wide open. What on earth is going on? I feel like I've fallen into an alternate universe. How did he all of a sudden figure it out? He's still testing the waters a bit, but he's not waiting on me or my approval. Just goes around stating things and expects action to follow. Interesting!

Cautiously, very cautiously optimistic here. I'm trying to stomp down on my doubts. Anyone who's read here knows we've been here before. But ... there's something different going on. Trying very hard not to let myself get too excited about this though. Not yet. It's only been a week.

Friday, 27 July 2018

I hate to admit it

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I imagine this is what my gooey insides look like today.

Except for the extraordinarily bad beginnings this morning.

Nothing serious, just all the chickens running loose, one baby bunny roaming outside, a chicken running over the tops of all the stalls inside the barn, and one evil goat that I swear was laughing at me. Honest. Her look, as we ran around trying to capture the escapees was similar to this:

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And you can't say that look is not one of pure enjoyment.


Milking and feeding went from a 15 minute job to almost an hour. And we only caught about half the chickens. The rooster at least is still out there with the rest of his girls so hopefully he'll take care of them. He DID try to help bring them back, but they weren't listening to anyone this morning.

Someone, I'm not mentioning names, was a bit perturbed that I skipped breakfast AND nap time yesterday. *sigh* After all MY griping, you'd think I'd be able to do a few simple things. Apparently not. Worse ... he's right, and I HATE admitting it, but ... I really need my nap :(  I just kept working yesterday, and there's no way I made enough to make it worth the time spent cuz it was pretty slow in the afternoon, and I ended up just tired, hot, irritated and with a headache. And a bath brush last night.

I do need to adjust to the more consistent Garf or I soon won't be able to sit.